Issues of Infidelity

ECU >UNC

I don't know to many men married five years or longer that are faithful to their wives. I'm not trying to say that all men cheat, but I have several family members that repeatedly brag to me about how many women they have and what these women will do for them. I find it sicking, even distasteful, that married men repeatedly step out on their wives.

My question to them is this, so why did you get married in the first place? I know that sounds like some Tyler Perry movie, but why do they find it necessary to go out and cheat on your wives? I guess in every situation there's a different response, but when you think about it, something has to be going on. The union of marriage is not what it use to be. People seemingly do not value marriage as much as our grandparent and great grandparents did. When my grandmother married my grandfather that was it, that was her husband for the rest of her life or until death separated them. No matter how hard the situation got, or what difficulties they may have faced, they were determined to stay together. Divorce was not an option.

Today the theology of marriage is different. Both men and women no longer hold the union of marriage sacred. The ideal of marriage has become less about the union and more about the individuals. People nowadays are more worried about self,  and what they want and how they are going to go about getting it. With that type of thinking a marriage is instantly doomed.

Don't get me wrong, the blame does not solely rest on men, women cheat too, and in a lot of cases they cheat more frequently than men. The difference for men, black men in general, is that we go out looking to cheat. There's an old saying "I might be married but I'm not dead". This basically means that there is nothing wrong with looking at women as long as you don't act. To me, that's the beginning of the end. Attraction starts with just a look. A quick glance from the opposite sex and your hooked. That glance can lead to a conversation and then even more. I am no expert at marriage, nor do I have a girlfriend at the moment but a lot of this stuff is common sense that we sometimes ignore to accomplish the task at hand. Neither less, my conclusions come from the relationships and marriages I am around and the individuals that discuss their marriages and relationships with me.

This issue of infidelity is even more popular with the rich and famous. For example, Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods are two superstars that have recently went through divorce because of infidelity. Both of these men are very rich, very well known and I'm sure they could get any women they so please. Both, in some way, felt a sense of entitlement. A sense of "I earned this because of who I am". This may not be the underlying reason why they cheated but most men feel this same sense of entitlement. I believe this sense of entitlement is partly the fault of women. Women constantly throw themselves at rich and powerful men, they opening invite this individuals to come be with them as well as do whatever is possible to get "in". Regardless if this individual is married or not, that doesn't matter, a lot of women are out on the hunt for a man with a lot of money.

On a much smaller level, a lot of women are out there just to have a good time. Most men, if put in a situation with a beautiful young lady, would more than likely cheat on his wife. I know that is sad to say but that is the reality of the times we live in. I myself have been faced with a lot of opportunities to cheat in one way or another. When put into this situation, it becomes a personal choice.

It seems like a lot of the time single women target men who are in a relationship or who are married.

I dont believe I will be able to answer that question in a blog but its something that I will continue to think about and continue to write about until I come to some resolution.