Anything worth having is worth fighting for.....If you would have asked me seven months ago about this quote I would say it is definately true. But as I continue to grow and get older I come to realized that everything that glitters isnt gold. Some times its better to cut your losses and move on rather than dwelling on the past and not looking to the future. Moving on isnt a easiest of things to do. Especially when you have been with someone you planned on marrying for a significant amount of time, through the ups and downs, the good and the bad. Especially when you have seen this person grow as well as they have helped you to go into the person you are. The thought of never talking to this person again is sickening but its a reality that you are faced with. The best reality for the present situation. This post isnt going to be about a lot of cliche quotes but what I have learned in a short but stressful period in my life.
I have learn a lot of about myself in the last year or so. I have learned that I am not quite ready for marriage, as I once thought I was. Ive learned that I am not ready for kids, and Ive learned that what I thought was true love really wasnt. Its funny how things sometimes workout in your life. The things that seems so perfect, so great, are things that will cause you so much pain. Relationships are a prime example of this. Ive had good relationships and Ive had semi perfect relationships. Ive made a lot of mistake in the relationships Ive had. A lot of the time the mistake I made came from situations I hadnt faced before. Getting someone pregnant or being cheated on were difficult for me to deal with. At the time I didnt deal with them the best possible way and now as I look back in hind sight, I wish I had handled them a little better. Said something that was a little different, same more at the time, expressed my feelings a little more. Showed how much I loved that person, and still do, a little more. But I didnt, I was blinded by the situation and stress at the time, not praying for answers but relying on my own understanding. Thats where I went wrong.........pray about everything, worry about nothing.
Most relationship are 70 - 30. Seventy percent of the time they play out good and you enjoy being with the person you are with. You spend special times together, create long lasting memories and if your lucky you get married and create a beautiful family together. The other side, the other 30 percent is the bad stuff in a relationship. We allow prided and insecurities to get in the way of love. We cheat on each other thus voiding our relationships and happiness and trust. We put each other down instead of lifting each other up. We take out our stress and pain on each other when we are frustrated with life rather than showing the other person how much you love them. Theres a saying that goes, you always hurt the person thats closes to you. I believe this as being true. We all have done it time and time again. Hurting that love one that was there for us through the thick and thin.
Ive gotten to the point where I'm tired of playing the game. I just want to be loved and show someone love back. I was to live a good life, provide for my family and give my kids a better life than I had. I'm tried of trying to forget about someone because we broke up. I cant forget about the memories and all the good and bad times we spent together. I cant forget the plans we were laying out, or the fact that one day we would get married. I dont care how many women I meet or females I date, they real never make me forget about the times I spent with you.
So is it really worth fighting for if the other person doesnt want you fighting for them?
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