"Unconditional Love....Is There Such A Thing?"

Here lately I have been doing a lot of soul search and asking myself some really touch questions. Tonight, while listening to Stevie Wonder, I thought to myself, is there really a such thing as unconditional love? A love so blind to hurt, pain, and disappointment that it only sees the good in a person. A love absent of judgement, resentment and grief. A love so strong that nothing can stand in its way. The only two examples I could think of, or I have experienced, is the love a mother has for her child and the love God has shown for us.

A mother's love is like no other. It cannot be duplicated no matter how hard one tries. Nothing can even come close. Its a different type of love, its the true meaning of "unconditional love". For example, Ive seen a lot of mothers take a lot of abuse from their children. I've seen kids curse their mothers out, steal from them, kill someone and any other shameful thing you might could think of. A good mother will still love her child regardless of what others may think of them. A good mother does not hold judgement. She only sees the good in her child and their potential, what they are capable of and not their faults. The love that a mother has for her child come directly from God. We are Gods children and he has instilled this same love and compassion he has for us into mothers. That's why mothers are so important and special, no one can love you like your mother.

I guess what I'm really getting at in this post is this, can there really be unconditional love in a relationship? I haven't been in a few relationships myself, and I don't have any bad things to say about the ones I have been in but, I can say I don't think we ever reached a level of love that was unconditional. A level of love that was without judgement or grief. Don't get me wrong, in every relationship I've been in, I think we both have really loved and cared for each other very much. I just don't think, when things went wrong, that either of us go handle the situation without being judgemental or injecting our pride into the situation. For example, if I did something wrong, something that really hurt the other person that I was in the relationship with, they would probably still love me but not unconditionally, not without judgement. Not without trying to understand why I did what I did and my thought process at the time. They, more than likely, would always hold whatever I did against me only to resurface in an argument.

So is true unconditional love, a love without judgement? Can we as humans really go without judging someone when its almost second nature to us. We judge the way people dress, act, look and handle themselves as an accepted social norm. We do it everyday, unconsciously most of the time. Being judgemental is a huge obstacle when trying to love someone unconditionally. I suppose you could throw selfishness and pride in there as well. Both of those are two other things that keep people from loving unconditionally. If one cannot completely give up the ideal of SELF, one has no chance of ever obtaining true unconditional love. And for that matter even having a successful relationship or marriage.

I think the problem is that people are afraid. Afraid to fully, unconditionally love someone because they are not sure if that person is going to love them back the same way. Loving someone unconditionally in a relationship is a huge risk but one with a great reward. A reward of true happiness. There is nothing better in this world than to have someone love you unconditionally. To love you without judgement or care. To give you all of them and you return that love. Those type of relationships come far and few between.

So how do we get pass this fear of loving unconditionally? There is no simply answer to this but for starters a relationship has to start with and maintain trust. Without trust loving someone unconditionally is not possible. I believe that the lack of trust in a relationship is one of the underlying reasons why some many relationships fail. Of course trust is not completely the answer to loving unconditionally, but its part of the answer. The other part in my opinion is being secure within ones self. If you are secure internally, you will not have a problem projecting love towards others. I guess what I'm trying to say is that you have to first learn to love yourself and be comfortable with who you are before you can love someone else. This might be a difficult task for some because we are our own biggest critics.

Do I think I will ever be able to love someone other than my family and God unconditionally? I believe so, hopefully sooner than later.